I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon. ~Ellen DeGeneres

Just that quote from Ellen made me want a cinnamon roll! I'll just look at a picture and be satisfied for now.

It's been quite a while since I've blogged on this weight loss blog and that's because I haven't really been focused on losing weight. I've been focused on staying alive and pain free. I've gotten the "alive" part down and am working on the "pain free" part. I thought it might be a good idea to start back with some sort of exercise. So today I went to an exercise group that the girls at church are doing.

Now...let me be clear...I was the oldest person there. I'm 46, the other 4 girls are younger than 28. They've all borne children but they don't have near the mileage on their bodies as I have on mine.

Today was body sculpting. I have too much to sculpt! My stomach looks like this...only worse! I would NOT put a photo up of my real stomach. I might get inquiries by the FCC or whoever monitors content on the internet...do they even do that? I doubt it. Anyway...

Now that I look at this chick's stomach fat I'm wishing mine looked as good!

This is what the instructor's stomach looks like after birthing 3 children! I even told her that her stomach was concave. She does not have an ounce of fat on her! She rode her bike 10 miles up and down hills for fun yesterday! Who does that? She's healthy and I say...good for her!

Again, not her real stomach but I would venture to say it's pretty darn close!

I don't know how long this exercise regimen will last but I have to do something. I go back to the doctor tomorrow and we'll see what he says about what would be best for my joints. I've never considered myself an unhealthy person. I never had one symptom from being overweight, no joint problems, no diabetes, no lung problems etc. When I've worked out in the past I never felt pain at all during a workout. Since my drug allergy and near death experience I have most of those thing. Today was VERY different. I have to remember that my body has been through hell and its going to take some time to recover.

Its not my goal to have a flat stomach. I don't even really care about that. Again, I'd be happy to shop in "normal" size clothing shops and have more of a choice than the "Omar the Tent Maker" section of the store!

We'll see what Friday brings...it's yoga day.

Why bother....

So I'm thinking that since I've gotten sick and I'm taking Prednisone, that there is no sense in trying to LOSE weight at this point. I should probably focus on getting healthy rather than getting thinner.

Prednisone is not my friend either. I have gained 6 pounds in the last 2 weeks. I literally want to eat my fists off.

Anyone out there have any tips to keep this from happening? Please feel free to share.

The first step might just be NOT bringing "bad" foods into the house to begin with!

I almost did it.

I actually almost woke up thin!

I got deathly ill on Dec 18 and since then I've lost 25 pounds. Now if the Prednisone will cooperate and NOT make me eat like a crazy person!

What is an eating disorder?

According to the National Eating Disorders Association (click on the name to go to the site) an eating disorder is when you have one or more of these issues...Anorexia Nervosa, Binge Eating or Bulimia Nervosa.

Why am I blogging about this on my weight loss blog? Well, this morning I watched Good Morning America. They featured a woman who was pregnant who compulsively exercised and was obsessive about how much weight she gained not only when she was pregnant but at other times in her life as well.

As the segment finished up I found myself really MAD! They classified this woman as having an eating disorder and I wondered why it was that people felt badly for her and were, what I believe is, abnormally concerned for her!

Here's my issue... Why is it that they won't just tell a person who is thin and has issues with eating/not-eating that they should just go eat a freaking sandwich!!! I mean what do they tell overweight people??!!!! To STOP eating a freaking sandwich!!! No one ever tells an overweight person that there is something in their brain that makes them that way!

About 5 years ago I called my insurance company at the time to see if they would cover gastric bypass surgery. I was told they would not. As I thought about it I decided to call back with another question. "Will you cover treatment for anorexia?" I was put on hold while the person checked my plan and was eventually told that if I was seeking treatment for the problem as an outpatient than the treatment would be covered. I was LIVID. I launched into a tirade, to someone who really couldn't do anything, about how unfair it was and that they were discriminating against fat people!

I'm no expert but I would venture to say that overweight people have MORE health related issues than a person who vomits on purpose or who doesn't eat enough!

Why is it that people fall over themselves trying to "help" a person who refuses to eat but we look at a person who overeats as merely being out of control? Is a thin person who REFUSES to eat, or throws up NOT out of control????

I say...GET A GRIP! If you're not going to treat overweight people with the same commitment that you will an anorexic person YOU ARE DISCRIMINATING!

What does a pound of fat look like anyway?

This is what a pound of fat looks like.



I went to Weight Watchers today after spending the morning in my son's classroom cutting 1 1/2 inch strips of green construction paper for some Christmas project they're going to do. I was too late for the meeting but I decided that I should at least go and weigh in.

Once again, I spent the week NOT tracking. Not even posting my weight gain from last week or ever tracking one thing I put in my mouth for the week. I don't know why I've developed such an aversion to tracking all of a sudden. That's another blog post.

I was totally prepared to step on the scale and not see any loss but to my "shock and awe" I lost one pound. At first I was like..."Well, that stinks!" but then I thought, "Well it's one pound less than I weighed last week and at least it's something."

After the day was almost over I decided to Google an image for a pound of fat and found the photo that I posted here. I'm actually impressed by what it looks like. It's gross looking but it looks more substantial than just saying, "I lost one pound."

Black Friday

It's Black Friday. Today used to be the day that retailers nationwide would recover from any slumps they had during the year and be "back in the black" as far as their profit margins. In the past I've done my part to help this happen but in recent years haven't really gotten up early to fight the crowds. This morning was a little different.

This morning at 2:25 a.m. I got up out of my warm bed after sleeping for only 3.5 hours. My daughter and I got up to go to Old Navy which was opening at 3 a.m. I knew I would not be the first person in line, nor did I want to be. All I wanted was a frost free coat for my son that was on sale for $15. I didn't even care about anything else.

We got to the store around 2:55 and the doors opened and within about 10 minutes we were inside and I bolted for the boys' section. I grabbed 3 different coats in his size and pushed my way through the crowd to find my daughter to ask her which one she thought I should purchase. We chose a simple black jacket and shopped for a couple of more things and got in line. The line went in front of the registers down to the back of the store, across the back of the store and then back down towards the front. We stood in line for about 45 minutes but I got my son his coat!

We got home around 5 and I went back to bed. I really wanted to sleep in but I was also determined to go and weigh in at Weight Watchers today.

As for Weight Watchers and Black Friday.... I knew I should go even though I had no idea how I would do. I could be "in the black" and be up or I could be "in the red" and losing. Unfortunately I was "in the black". Up 2 pounds. I will attribute some of that to the fact that I wore heavier clothing since it was really cold today, that thanks to mother nature I'm experiencing "feminine issues" and mostly to the fact that I haven't even signed on to WW to enter my points for the last 2 weeks. How pathetic is that?


I KNOW that I can't keep track of the points mentally in my head. I also know I can't keep track of my checkbook in my brain and yet I never write anything down in the register and am constantly "surprised" at how much money I've really spent. Well...I wasn't really surprised at the fact that I'd gained weight....again.

Why can't I just write it down??? If you snack it...track it!!! This week will be better.

I am proud of myself though for even going to weigh in today. Of all the people in my group I was the only one who weighed in today. Although I couldn't stay for the meeting the leader congratulated me for coming in and being accountable.

I think I need a specific goal for the week. Any suggestions before I really start out the weekend?

Where have I been?

Ok...so I didn't get to WW on Friday like I should have. It's not that I was afraid to weigh in...I had to go to school and help with my son's Thanksgiving Feast! (I think I might have lost a pound last week.)

Let's talk about Thanksgiving for a minute shall we? Remember when you were a kid and you got together with family and friends and you couldn't sit at the table with the adults? Where did you sit? You had to sit at the "kid's table".

The kid's table was fine when you were small but it was torture when you were 11 or 12. By then you wanted to sit at the regular table where you could serve yourself and cut your own food. More importantly as an adult...you could get your own dessert!

Let's be honest! I LOVE dessert. Pie, cookies, cake, candies, anything sweet. I think it's in my DNA...my dad was a total sweet lover, my grandmothers both loved sweets too. My dad's mother used to make a couple of things that I loved for some reason. Thinking back on it I have to wonder why this was her choice of "poison"...she would get the heal of a nice crusty French bread, dig out the light fluffy bread in the center and put olive oil and sugar in the bottom of it. I LOVED eating that.


The other thing she taught me to eat was bread dipped in Carnation sweetened condensed milk. Even as I type this I get a craving for it! I haven't eaten it in years but I can seriously taste it! It sounds gross but to me it was divine!

Anyway...at our last WW meeting we talked about how to make our Thanksgivings less about food and more about family. I remember one year doing Christmas crafts as a group. It was nice because we sat around the table and talked and created. It was bliss. Someone else had a great idea which I think I appreciate now because my dad passed away 16 years ago. She said that each one of the kids got to ask a member of the family about any interesting events or memories that happened to them at the same age as the child asking the question. (Does that make sense to you?) The child interviewed the person and wrote it down and then presented it to the rest of the family.

I don't know what we'll do this year as a tradition to make it less about food and more about family. If you have any ideas feel free to comment.

I am glad that I won't be sitting at the children's table though because I plan on serving myself dessert. It will be a rough day since I have to weigh in the day after Thanksgiving....we better eat early!