On Friday I had to go shopping again for some more clothes. I went to Avenue because I saw that they were having a sale of 60-70% off on some of their clearance merchandise. I tried on several pairs of jeans and found one that fit perfectly.
Guess what size it is? It's a size 16!!!! AND they fit!!! AND I bought them! I got some tops that were on sale for $7 too. My daughter and I went back on Saturday and I purchased a top in a size 14/16! A. MAY. ZING! It's a great feeling to be buying smaller sizes.
I've had some non-scale victories as well. Yesterday I had to clean up my son's room. He loves Star Wars stuff and had a little play area set up with rocks and figures and ships and animals...it could have been a movie set. I really needed to vacuum in there but couldn't do it around all the stuff so I had to sit on the floor and put things away in bins and pull things out from under the bed...you know how it is...especially if you have boys.
Anyway...at one point I noticed how easy it was to reach and move to get what I wanted and I had the realization that as I've lost weight my body has really changed. I used to get so sweaty and exhausted when I did tasks like that but yesterday I could move without feeling like I was exerting myself. As I drove to the doctor's office I thought about how it felt the "day I woke up fat". I remember sitting on the floor with my 5 month old baby wearing a pair of jeans that were probably two sizes too small. I remember the feeling in my legs and feeling like my legs were stuffed into my skin. The reality was that my fat was making my skin stretch in my legs. I hated the feeling. Unfortunately I got used to it and packed on even more weight over the years.
But yesterday I had the opposite sensation. It was a small epiphany for me.
I did go to my 6 week weight check and nutrition class yesterday. It was really the beginning of the 8th week for me because I am a little behind my meetings due to the holidays.
I always dress "light" on the days I have to weigh in. Had it not been so cold outside I would have worn Capri pants and a light blouse. Instead, I chose my light weight khaki pants and a new cotton top. I always step on the scale with great trepidation, even when I expect to see a loss. "Will it be enough? Do I only think I've lost and I've really gained?"
So I stepped on the scale and the nurse said, "Oh WOW! You're doing REALLY good." Then she wrote down the number, did a short calculation and announced that I've lost a total of 47 pounds! I was ecstatic!
The nutrition class was great. I am allowed to eat any foods that agree with me including raw vegetables so that means I can now have salad. I've been craving salad!
The next part of this process is to join the gym. I need to tone up and firm up some of these muscles so that I can get rid of my "front butt". I've said before to some people that I have two butts. One regular butt and one butt in the front where I used to have a stomach! I need to get that firmed up. It will NEVER be what it was without surgery. TOO many babies and WAY TOO much weight have stretched that skin out to the point that it will never go back to being smooth. It will always be flabby and saggy. However, it can be smaller. I need a smaller "front butt". I have a friend, Sharon, who has a blog called My Other Butt (you can click on that and see her blog). I was introduced to her blog by another mutual friend and was intrigued right away because I KNEW she knew what I was experiencing. Her "other butt" is almost gone! She had a lap band procedure and has done GREAT!
So I'm feeling really good about my decision to have the surgery! It has been a tremendous tool for me! I can sense my thoughts about food changing as well. I finally threw out cookies and goodies that we made over Christmas. I don't think that would have ever happened before...mostly because I would have felt the need to eat anything that was in my house.
I'm now in the next lowest 10's for weight. I have not seen these numbers since the birth of my 2nd daughter almost 24 years ago!
I haven't decided when I will tell what my starting weight was. Yesterday I saw the picture of me that they took on my initial consultation with the doctor in June. I didn't even recognize the girl in the photo. It kind of gave me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that I did that all to myself. I can't dwell on the reasons why. I just have to keep moving forward and let go of all that.
Here's to another great week!
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