Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day doesn't love me

I've already eaten enough chocolate that I should dive into a diabetic coma at any second! I haven't eaten anything else so does that help? Oi!!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Back to life, back to the present time,
Back from a fantasy yeah
Tell me now, take the initiative

Today I looked at this blog and saw that I had a "goal" to lose 10 pounds by my 47th birthday but instead of losing I've gained 4.5 pounds since November 30th. What am I thinking? Oh yeah....I'm not thinking about losing weight at all....and THAT is the problem!

Yesterday I watched Jennifer Hudson on Oprah. That girl has lost 80 pounds! If I could do that I would not be in a size 6 like she is but I would be a much happier person. I would be wearing a size 12 and I'm serious when I say that I'd be happy to wear a size 16 so a 12 would be awesome.

So today it's back to life, back to reality, back from the fantasy. I actually logged into WW today and tracked my breakfast before I even ate it. It kept me focused on what I should really eat this morning.

I can do this. I'm still considering joining Overeaters Anonymous and also having a lap band procedure. I have to check with my doctor as I have some other health issues going on but if my insurance will cover it and if my body can really handle it then I think I want to do it.

I know someone who had that or gastric bypass but didn't tell anyone. Weird huh? But they're not very open about their lives to begin with. Oh they like to know the dirt in everyone else's life but they don't want to share their own dirt!!! Anyway...the person was thin in their younger years and then gained a lot of weight, tried to get it off and then one day started to lose weight. There was exercising involved and not as many calories taken in but when you watched them you just knew that it wasn't because they'd chosen to lose weight but because they couldn't eat more than a few bites at a time.

I wondered why they wouldn't want to share their surgery but never questioned them about it. Even to this day, many years later they don't "fess up" about the surgery. They must feel like it's a weakness or something to have stooped to surgery but I say, "More power to ya" for taking control in whatever way you had to! And I know it must be awesome to wear "normal" sizes again. we go again.