Saturday, November 12, 2011
Ch, ch, ch, changes...
So this morning I've been thinking....I got on the scale this morning and realized that after today I will NEVER see the number that I saw on there today! This is the last weekend before my surgery. I am more than excited!
On Wednesday I went to take my stress test and to the pre surgery class. I got my "Bariatric Bible" which tells me what I can eat for the next 7 weeks and beyond. I'm not gonna lie...the first 3 weeks sound like hell but I know it will be so worth it!
And I chose to have the surgery right before Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I'm really o.k. with it. I had to go grocery shopping yesterday. (I do have a family that needs to eat regular food while I am working on liquids and soft foods.) It was interesting to me how much money I didn't have to spend on groceries. Walking down the aisles and knowing that I cannot put certain things in my mouth kept me from even putting them in my cart. Instead of feeling disappointed at the things I cannot eat I am excited about the weight I will lose and getting back to a healthy weight.
Today I've been a little emotional thinking about how much life will change for me in 4 days. I don't find myself wishing for a cookie or feeling like I'll miss out on food which I obviously will for a while. I find myself thinking about who I will become after this procedure. I find myself thinking, "When people see pictures of me at my daughter's college graduation they will wonder who is standing with my husband and daughter." , "When I am about 5 months out I might just be wearing a size 12 skirt." and things of that nature. I'm really only thinking about the positive things that will come out of this.
I have thought about the negatives, the lose skin, the nausea etc. But overall I'm happy that I can get past those things. I did find out that 2 years post op I will be able to have a tummy tuck. That will be another wonderful day in my life. My stomach has not looked the same since November 1984 when I was about 4 months pregnant with my first child. The stretch marks came even then. My post pregnancy body was such a disappointment to me. I never had the opportunity for my stomach to shrink because the skin was so stretched after my first baby that it just hung there. Not puffy or swollen but hanging. Not a pretty sight. Lucky (and I do say lucky) for me I have a hernia. SO...that means when it's time for that to be fixed I can score a tummy tuck.
There are some whose reactions to my decision have been less than supportive. They've never been me and they've never been this over weight and they've never tried to lose weight unsuccessfully for almost 27 years. Those that are supportive have been great! I'm really excited to recreate this body. The thin girl in me is ready to emerge again!