Monday, October 29, 2012

11 Months and I'm not a good blogger

It's hard to believe that it's been a little over 11 months since my surgery. I've been at a stall for about the last 2 months. I'll lose and then gain and then lose again and gain again. 

I've not had much time for "me" in the last couple of months. I became a grandma again for the 3rd time at the end of July, school started when we got back from vacation/baby birth, then we went back out west for a big weekend and I brought the grandchildren and my daughter back with me for 2 more weeks and I'm finally recovering from all the festivities there.'s time to get my butt in gear. Speaking of my butt...I used to tell  friends that I had TWO in the front and one in the back! extra butt is shrinking and I think that it actually may be smaller than the back butt I'm supposed to have! My real butt is kind of flat was when I was young and thin and now that I've gotten 95 pounds off it's kind of reverted to it's old flat self. If only I could have a butt lift in the back! 

I have reached a couple of milestones in the last few months. First off...if you're a large person you know that a regular bath towel doesn't really cover you up when you get out of the shower. If you're heavy at some point you "graduated" to a bath sheet! There were times I thought I might need a "bath tent" but they don't make those! Anyway...I've used a bath sheet for YEARS! Regular towels in NO way covered up enough of my body that I could dry off with them let alone wrap it around myself and stroll into my bedroom. About 2 months ago I didn't have my bath sheet when I got out of the shower and so I grabbed a regular bath towel and to my actually went around my body AND covered everything! I felt a little bit sexy as I looked at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a regular person's bath towel. Not a bath sheet, not an oversized towel but a regular towel! OH HAPPY DAY!

My 2nd milestone....I purchased Queen sized panty hose for the first time in YEARS 2 months ago. I had always either had to get the "Just My Size" hosiery or when they stocked it I would purchase hosiery from Lane Bryant. In high school I purchased Q size Leggs hosiery..back when it came in a full plastic egg. They don't come in the plastic egg any more but I am wearing a Q again! 

A third milestone is that I was able to put on the dress I wore in my engagement photos 28 1/2 years ago! A HUGE accomplishment. It's a size 13/14. I LOVED that dress. I didn't fit like it did 28 1/2 years ago...loose in the bust and arms, but I was able to wear it and not Hulk it out! I think that in another 10 pounds I can totally wear it and I just might! 

Milestone #4...I can shop in Gap! One of my daughters works for Gap and I can actually fit into size 14 Gap jeans and XL tops! I did treat myself to a few new things a while back. It's great to shop these days. I hardly have to try things on but I like to do it just to see how I look in clothes. It's fun to try on different outfits! I'm not a size 0 or even a single digit size but I really don't care. 

And the last milestone...I can wear clothes my daughters wear. When we were shopping together 3 weeks ago I tried on something and then gave it to my daughter to purchase. It did look better on her than it did on me but just knowing that I even had the opportunity to make a choice was miraculous! Two of my daughters have handed things down to me and the reality that I could borrow something from them is mind blowing!

One thing that has been sort of unreal to me is that men are noticing me. At the beginning of October I attended a 30th reunion with my husband. I had never met any of his friends. When we arrived the first person to meet me was a respected mentor of my husband's. We were introduced and he looked at my husband and said, "Your wife is beautiful inside and out!" I was felt good to be noticed and to have someone give me such a nice compliment. I've heard compliments before but I think I never took them as genuine compliments because I didn't feel good about myself. (And yes I've heard things like, "you have such a pretty face." ---We all know that translates to "You're pretty but you'd be prettier if you weren't so fat.) Anyway...Later on in the evening I was introduced to another friend of my husband's. As we spoke his eyes shifted back and forth from my husband to me. In the middle of a sentence he stopped and looked at me and then looked at my husband and said, "Your wife is really beautiful!" It was a great event for me on many levels but to have 2 men who don't even know me pay me such nice compliments made my self esteem soar. 

I have much more to accomplish. I NEED to tone up this body in the worst way. They don't make Spanx that are big enough to suck in all that needs sucking! are photos from today. My size 14 Gap jeans! A size XL blouse from my oldest daughter. It feels awesome!!! I really want to get down another 8 pounds so that I can be past 100 pounds lost by my year mark on November 16!