I have to laugh at this picture because I posted it and then realized that it's a man in a woman's shirt! BAH! And I thought I was pathetic!
While I was gone I did not journal or keep track of my food AT ALL. When someone dies they bring in food and tons of it. I didn't really think I'd gone crazy but I guess the 4 slices of pecan pie, the cookies and the delicious home made dinners that were brought in just went straight to my hips.
Since I've been back I've noticed that my feet and hands are also swelling like crazy. We were out today walking and visiting some shops and my hands got so swollen that I thought my rings would cut off the circulation! Time to drink more, flush this out of my system and get back onto my water pill. Maybe that will help as well.
I was so depressed after weighing in that I went to Target to look for one of my favorite things at Christmas time....peppermint Tootsie-Rolls. They didn't have any so I bought a bag of Halloween peanut M&M's which were on sale. I managed to eat the ENTIRE bag throughout the day. Do you know how many points that is????!!! 41.5 points!!! How sick is that?
How much sense does it make to gain 4 pounds and drown your sorrow in a bag of M&M's? It makes no sense. Why do I do this? I don't know. I'm trying to figure out my brain and my relationship with food. This is a process.
Today I did much better. I tracked my points and went for a good walk. I gotta get off the 4 pounds and wrap my brain around the need to lose weight.
Sheesh!!!
I have the same behavior habits and they are hard to break, believe me I know! I know that I do this type of thing because I'd rather sabotage myself than think that I failed at something while trying. I am a perfectionist and if I can't perfect something, then I have a bad habit of dropping it quick before I can fail. Problem is how I look at things. Is it really a failure if I gain 2 lbs instead of losing it? No, it's a step back, but it's not a failure. I have to change the way I think. Easier said than done, I know :-)
ReplyDeleteRennie, Cristi Bastian (my muuuuch younger sister) keeps telling me we should connect because we'd get along well. I was following your family blog until you went private, so she told me about this one and I LOVE it!
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't think I'm a stalker! But I guess I kinda am. . .
Would love to hear from you
Jana, Cristi has always said the same thing to me. I sent her my private e-mail to have her send to you. I didn't want to post it on this as it's open to the world! LOL
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