I'm a 45 year old woman on a quest to lose weight and become a thinner, healthier version of who I am now.
I'm basically satisfied with who I am as a person. I have other areas to improve on for sure but for now this blog is about my struggle to become thin, well...honestly, just less heavy.
The reality in my brain right now is that I will never be thin. Thin was me when I left for college at a size 10. The thinnest I've ever been. For now I'd just be happy for my weight to start with a "1"!!
Not even my husband knows exactly how much I weigh. Honestly, I don't think he'd really care what the number is. He's a good guy. He has never made my weight an issue in our marriage, never been embarrassed to be seen with the fattest girl at the party, never suggested a diet, purchased a diet aide for me or anything like that. It's been a non-issue. Bless his soul!
So why the title..."Wake Me Up When I'm Thin"? I often say that I feel like I went to bed thin one night and then woke up in this alien body. I got pregnant 4 months after getting married and I was a healthy, fit 170 pounds when I married. (I'm 5'7" tall and have a large frame. Although some might say that my 170 pounds was overweight...now 27 years later...I'm thinking it's pretty svelt!) Over the next 9 months I don't think I realized what was really happening to me to my body.
The reality didn't hit me until 2 days after I gave birth, traumatically by c-section at the age of 21, when I stood up for the first time and looked in the mirror. My stomach, which had never been a flat six-pack type belly, had basically turned into a flap hammock! I probably could have used it as a baby sling like women carry their babies in now over their shoulder. I probably could have even pulled it up that far. Stretch marks? Oh baby...you could draw the entire U.S. Highway system on my stomach. You wanna know the best route to get from Florida to Washington state...step over here and I'll show you!
Three more full term pregnancies and too many other stresses and calories to count and I'm now the "me" I've become.
So the title comes because in my heart of hearts if I could go to sleep fat and wake up thin that would be the greatest miracle since the parting of the Red Sea. Since that's not likely to happen and since I've got to make an effort...bleh to that...I have decided to blog. I am hoping that it helps me and perhaps maybe another person.
I'm sure there will be good days and bad days as I struggle through this journey. It will be a struggle...I love food. When I hear people talk about managing your hunger I think to myself..."no one could possibly be THIS hungry!"
My course of action...Weight Watchers and exercise.
So far today's been a good day. I've likely eaten all of my flex points since I weighed in last Friday but I'm determined to keep it under control for the rest of the week. Wish me luck.